28 months have pasted and my heart still aches.
You know, when I was a kid, and my parents used to argue, I thought that they would never get divorced because, well, that can’t happen to me.
Well it did.
When my Mom lay unconscious on the bed I thought that she would just come right out of it.
But she didn’t.
I never imagined my life without her. I never thought for a second that she would be gone one day and that I would be left here alone, without her.
I’ve learned a lot in 28 months. Some things good. Some things bad.
I have really tried to do my best which we all know sometimes just isn’t enough.
I think that I have a tough job ahead of me. One that I would never wish on any one.
Sure I’m not the one that has to explain to their kids my Nana isn’t here anymore.
I‘m not the one that has to hear Mia say that she misses Nana and that Nana used to give her a bottle. I don’t have that. One day I will…I hope.
But I need to start living for me. For my husband.
My Mom was the great and powerful Oz (like the Wizard of Oz reference). She knew all and knew what needed to get done. Sometimes I was on her side. Sometimes I wasn’t. But you had to respect what she did. What she overcame.
I miss Mom terribly and today, 28 months later is no different than that day. Sure the constant pain has subsided. Sure the heart has mended. But there is a tear. A tear that will never heal. I can bandage it and cover it but it’s there and it’s part of me.
I can still cry at the drop of a hat. Can’t watch any television shows that have to do with anything medical. Cry when someone losses a loved one. Hate driving by the hospital where she died. Miss calling her during the day. Miss her.
So today, 28 months later life must go on. The dogs will get a bath. The basement will get cleaned out. The carpet man will come over to leave us samples. But even with all this going on there will always be one thing missing…Mom. So today at 2:51 p.m. I will stop and remember. Remember that great and powerful Oz. Remember Mom...
You know, when I was a kid, and my parents used to argue, I thought that they would never get divorced because, well, that can’t happen to me.
Well it did.
When my Mom lay unconscious on the bed I thought that she would just come right out of it.
But she didn’t.
I never imagined my life without her. I never thought for a second that she would be gone one day and that I would be left here alone, without her.
I’ve learned a lot in 28 months. Some things good. Some things bad.
I have really tried to do my best which we all know sometimes just isn’t enough.
I think that I have a tough job ahead of me. One that I would never wish on any one.
Sure I’m not the one that has to explain to their kids my Nana isn’t here anymore.
I‘m not the one that has to hear Mia say that she misses Nana and that Nana used to give her a bottle. I don’t have that. One day I will…I hope.
But I need to start living for me. For my husband.
My Mom was the great and powerful Oz (like the Wizard of Oz reference). She knew all and knew what needed to get done. Sometimes I was on her side. Sometimes I wasn’t. But you had to respect what she did. What she overcame.
I miss Mom terribly and today, 28 months later is no different than that day. Sure the constant pain has subsided. Sure the heart has mended. But there is a tear. A tear that will never heal. I can bandage it and cover it but it’s there and it’s part of me.
I can still cry at the drop of a hat. Can’t watch any television shows that have to do with anything medical. Cry when someone losses a loved one. Hate driving by the hospital where she died. Miss calling her during the day. Miss her.
So today, 28 months later life must go on. The dogs will get a bath. The basement will get cleaned out. The carpet man will come over to leave us samples. But even with all this going on there will always be one thing missing…Mom. So today at 2:51 p.m. I will stop and remember. Remember that great and powerful Oz. Remember Mom...
