Would like to say Hi, one more time...

This past weekend John and I went to the cemetery and brought Mom some sunflowers. This being a national cemetery you would think that all of the grounds would be in tip top shape...not the case. Mom's section is a mixture of weeds, grass, dirt and rocks. What's up with that? I understand the area is still under renovation but come on it's almost 13 months. So I called, well since they are still working in that area and until the section is complete/filled it will continue to look as it does. But once there are no more burials they will get the irrigation system hooked up and make it look as beautiful as the rest!

As we were leaving and I know this is morbid I told John that I just wanted to see her again. I wanted to dig her up, say Hi, one last time. See I told you it was morbid. But that's how I feel. Look I know this can't happen but I would like to see her again...in this life. I have all of these crazy thoughts, like is she cold, hot, is she scared being there in the dark. I know that she isn't really there, that just her body remains but I can't help but think it, feel it.

Mom's in a better place, no doubt cooking up a storm and throwing the grandest of parties. Busy watching over others and hanging out with my grandparents. She did pay John a visit Saturday night in his dreams. He said it felt so real. She was there, in our house, in two of her favorite places, the bathroom and Kitchen. He spoke with her, saw her clear as day and woke up not quite sure if it was reality or not. Sadly to say we all know that it was not reality.

So what do you make of it? Is she trying to let us know that she is in fact in our lives on a daily basis watching over us ? Did she come to John to let him know this so he can comfort the rest of us?

I asked John to send her to me the next time he dreams these most wonderful dreams because like I said before I just want to say Hi, just one more time.

~Christine