Empty drawers...

Yesterday Mom’s dresser drawers were cleaned out. All of her clothes put into plastic bags and placed in her closet. I had not known that this was done and when I was in her room something came over me to open her drawers. My heart nearly stopped for a minute as I opened and closed each drawer finding emptiness. Emptiness that filled my heart and started the tears flowing. Anger set in. Does it need to be done…I guess so. It’s been close to a year, yet it still seems like yesterday. Was I ready to have it done…nope. Does it hurt…yup. Could I have left it that way for ever…probably. It just opened the wound again. A wound, that has not and will never fully heal. There will always be a scar, emptiness in my heart. I was hurt, mad, upset but I will go on. Mom will always be in my heart, my soul. Nothing nor anybody can take that away from me. I will make sure that her spirit lives on. Her empty drawers were just the tangible items left behind. Her life, the memories are what I will cling to. I will make sure that my daughter knows who her Nana was and that she would have given anything to met her here on earth. Her drawers may be empty but my heart is filled with the memories…

~Christine

Remembering you this holiday weekend...

~Hope~

This is not at all

How we thought it was suppose to be

We had so many plans for you

We has so many dreams

But now you've gone away

And left us with the memories of your smile

And nothing we can say

And nothing we can do

Can Take away the pain

The pain of losing you

And we will cry with hope

We can say good-bye with hope

'Cause we know our good-bye is not the end

And we will grieve with hope

'Cause we believe with hope

There's a place where we'll see your face again

We'll see your face again

And never have I known

Anything so hard to understand

And never have I questioned more

The wisdom of God's plan

But through the cloud of tears

I see the Father smile and say ' well done.'

And I imagine you

Where you wanted most to be

Seeing all your dreams come true

'Cause now your home

And now your free

(Chorus)

We have this hope as an anchor

'Cause we believe that everything

God promises us is true

(Chorus)

We wait with hope

And we ache with hope

We hold on with hope

We let go with hope

~Steven Curtis Chapman~

Your shoes...

Your sandals still sit in the closet where you last left them. They will always stay there as far as I am concerned. I actually take them out and wear them outside when I am working in the backyard. Just looking at them reminds me of you, your feet, you being there. You loved these big, clunky sandals. Mia also enjoys playing with them. It's cute...she's cute.

~Christine

Just missing you...

Over this past week I have had moments when I just cry. Is it because of your upcoming anniversary...one year? Is it because of the anticipation of that, that day...reliving it all over again...maybe or is it because I simply just miss you...

~Christine

Mother's Day

Though you have left this world doesn't mean we do not honor you just the same. The lives you have touched and changed are innumerable. Though the pain is still there from you being ripped from our lives, the memories of the great times we all shared, the laughter, the smiles and even the tears we all shed together makes it a little less painful. As we reflect on this Mother's Day we not only grieve our loss but celebrate your life. You are in our hearts and in our thoughts always.

~~~~~~~

Mom, we miss you so very much

On this Mother’s Day;

And not just then, but every minute,

Since you went away.

You were the center of our lives

Before your soul passed on;

It’s just so hard for us to believe

That you are really gone.

But we celebrate the life you lived

And all the things you gave us;

Our wonderful memories,

Mom, of you

Are the things that will comfort and save us.

Please think of us, as we think of you

With hearts so full of love;

We’re looking up at you, sweet Mom,

As you look at us from above.

By Joanna Fuchs

Eleven months today...

Today marks that day that you went away.

Eleven months ago this very day.

Why did you leave, did you have to go?

I wish there was a way that you could have stayed.

You are in my thoughts every day,

The memories, the visions, all up till that day.

Today marks the day that you went away.

Eleven months this very day.

~~~

~Christine

There's a little bit of you in that girl...

Ever since Mia was born you could see Mom in her. Their baby pictures look very similar. Mia has Mom's toes, her walk. When I look at Mia I always feel that Mom is living on inside of her. When Mom passed I was given her diamond heart necklace and ever since that day I have worn it every single day. Mia knows that I wear the necklace and looks for it when I am holding her. Yesterday, I was watching her and I had already taken the necklace off for the day. She hadn't seen it yet and I hadn't held her yet. When I picked her up for a hug she ripped open my shirt to look for the necklace. When I realized what she was looking for I took her to my jewelry box and asked her if she wanted to see the heart. She shook her head yes and then I put it around her neck. She just smiled, her beautiful smile.

~Christine

Memorial Party...

Please join us for a Memorial Party

in Honor of Our Mother,

Judith Rose Heredia
June 14, 2008

3:00 p.m.

~Our House~

Please contact me for directions...