Guess Who...

Guess who paid me a visit tonight at dinner? Yup, Mom. We were watching Oprah, a favorite show of Mom's. Actually I never watch it but something this evening made me stop on that channel. Well how did Mom pay me a visit? Of course, food spilled on my shirt. Not one time but five (5) times. That's right five spots on my shirt. I guess she was happy that I was watching Oprah. It's also a standard line that when food spills on someones shirt at the dinner table we all say "Mom's here". Makes me feel good inside and at this time of year I need all the help that I can get.

~Christine

Merry Christmas...

'Twas two days before Christmas and through the house

the family was scurry all about.

The Struffola's were done, all fried in a bowl.

While memories of Mom clung close to home.

The cookies were baked, the food has been ordered, but there's still something missing, more than you'll ever know.

There’ll be one missing this Christmas, one place at table, bare.

One smiling face we’ll yearn for just knowing you’re not there.

Voices soft, diminished, we’ll sing a Christmas song, hoping next year’s easier, for you haven’t been gone long.

The joy of your great laughter as the children gathered ‘round.

Your spirit will be here in revelry and sound.

We'll miss you this Christmas, oh Mom, yes we will.

We'll miss you so deeply and that I hope you know.

~~~~~~~~~~

Merry Christmas in Heaven!

Love, Christine

Spread the Cheer...

Several people that I work with have lost one or both of their parents. Some, years ago. And I see that know matter how long it's been the holidays are hard. Depressing at times. I think thou I have done my best to try and spread some cheer.

Encouraging others to decorate has made them feel better and in turn has made me feel better.

I think too my Mom would be happy with me trying to spread some holiday cheer. She was such a cheery person. She loved Christmas, and I think she would be proud.

With Christmas only two weeks away I am flooded with emotions and memories. Memories of past Christmas'. How excited Mom was this time of year. Lights and decorations everywhere.

This Christmas, the second one without Mom, seems harder than the last. Last year I felt like we had to prove something. Prove to others and ourselves, that we in fact could "pull it off". Well we did. Was it like Mom did, no way. Was it close, possibly. Did we miss her, definitely. This year though I know we can do it, I just wish that we could do it with Mom.

We decorated Mom's grave last weekend. We put down a beautiful blanket, a small Christmas tree and a Mom sign; of which had been saved from last year. It was sad to have decorations stored in your basement to decorate your Mother's grave with. But nice to know that we will continue the tradition of decorating with her. We also add lights this year. Solar ones. I figured she deserved to have her grave shine, shine, all the way up to heaven so that she could see it.

~Christine

18 Months

Today marks 18 months and I can't believe it. I can't believe that we have decorated the house, put up the tree, hung the stockings and decorated the table we have for and that you aren't here to see it.

I often stop and wonder what we all would be doing it you were here with us. Would you be upstairs with James watching a favorite movie? Would you have Christmas cards strung out across the den floor as you are writing them out?

It's so sad that you were taken. I miss you so much and now realize how much I will miss out on.

Wishing you were here...

So, it was hard...

Thanksgiving went off with out a hitch. Everyone was there. But that was the hard part. Not everyone was there. Mom was missing and while it obviously bothered me all day, dinner time was the hardest. As everyone gathered around the table it hit me smack in the face. Mom wasn't here with us. Everyone else was, but she wasn't. I left the dining room and headed to, where else, the bathroom and cried my eyes out. From there to my bedroom and that's when I heard everyone looking for me and John. John was in the living room feeling sad too. I joined him and then we got our acts together and joined everyone else for a delicious turkey dinner.

I know Mom was there shining down on us. We pulled off yet another Thanksgiving dinner all by ourselfes. I know that she was proud of us. I just wish she could have been there. That's the part that's so hard...