I Love, I Hate...

I love seeing and hearing others speaking of Mom.

I loved seeing the scrapbook that Lisa made for Mia and seeing an entire page dedicated to Mom and Mia.

I love seeing Mom's picture displayed in Michael and Lisa's home.

I love seeing Sandi wearing the heart necklace that was given to her by James, that was Mom's.

I love hearing James speaking of Mom.

I love when Teresa shows Matthew a picture of Nana and he knows who it's of.

I love that I make Mom's crumb cake for work and other's think that it's the best cake they have ever tasted.

I love hearing Irene tell me stories of Mom.

I love seeing pictures of Mom displayed around my home.

I love seeing John cry so hard that he misses Mom.

I love that Bobby and Steven each have pictures around their room of them and Mom.

I love seeing the tattoo that Steven has on his arm in memory of Mom.

I love that the rock in my garden has a quote from Mom's prayer card.

I love looking in the mirror and seeing bits of Mom smiling back.

I love that I live the same house that Mom raised her children in.

I love that other's read this site.

~But~

I miss calling her to tell her something.

I hate that I go to the food store and stare at the meat not knowing what to buy and not having Mom to call and ask.

I hate that she's not hear to talk to.

I hate passing the hospital that she died at ever time I go to Target.

I hate feeling sometimes that there most have been something that I could have done to save her.

I hate that next month will be 20 months that she is gone.

I hate that she doesn't get to see her grandchildren grow up.

I hate the my life goes on with out her.

I hate that some days I laugh too much when the pain is still so real.

I hate that her 2 year anniversary is approaching.

~But~

I love that I have people in my life you are here to help and support me. Without them I could not survive.