Yesterday, a ball of emotions...

Yesterday was a mixture of emotions for me. It was Mom's birthday, second one in heaven. It was also19 months since her passing and it was the day that my twin nephews were to be born. Talk about an emotional day.

I had a tough Friday night and Saturday morning. We woke up and got ready to leave for the cemetery. As we were getting ready to leave we learned that my sister-in-law Nancy was on her way to the hospital. Her water had broken and the babies were to be born today. I suddenly found myself flooded with emotion. Please don't get me wrong. I am so very happy for Jason and Nancy but it's my Mom's birthday and I didn't want to have to share that day with anyone. Then I was reminded what a wonderful thing to happen today. Jason loved my Mom and what a better day than Mom's birthday to share with his son's. I didn't think that I would be able to go to the hospital. Be surrounded by everyone and feel the same that they did. But I would surely find myself wrong.

John and I went to the cemetery, balloons and flowers in hand. We took her Christmas decorations down and brought them home with us. We placed her red roses down, and her balloons, which blew in the wind aiming up towards heaven. A light snow as falling as John sang Happy Birthday and after our good byes we headed for the hospital.

As we were leaving the cemetery a calming feeling came over me. I would be able now to go to the hospital. I was excited. Mom would be excited and I am sure that she was. She had this planned all along. God had this planned. Where there is sadness there is also joy. You just need to look around you. I am surrounded by people who love me and who feel the same way.

We got to the hospital and meet up with other family members. How was I going to do this? I didn't want to cry in front of everyone. The claiming feeling was still with me and I new I could do it. The babies had already been born, 6 lbs 4 oz & 6 lbs & 2 oz. They were healthy and Nancy was doing well but still in recovery. We didn't learn what they were until a little while later. Once Nancy was awake and could grasp the knowledge we would learn what sex they were.

An hour or so later we learned that the babies were in fact boys. They were to be named Jason & Matthew. We briefly visited with them. So cute and little. This is what life is about. Life. Having Jason and Matthew born on Mom's birthday was God's plan. Joy on a day of sadness. Laughter and smiles on a day that brought tears. Yes, there will always be sadness on Mom's birthday but there will also be joy and laughter. Tears and excitement as we watch these two little babies grow. This is how life is. When life gives you lemons make lemonade!

We left the hospital and headed home to celebrate Mom's birthday together with the family members who could be there. We had dinner and desert. Dinner consisted of Chinese take-out and ice cream for desert. My sister-in-law, Sandi had called several times during the day to check on me but I never actually spoke with her till the evening. Sandi had called again after dinner to check on me one last time and we spoke. She totally understood how I was feeling. She was thinking about me all day and wanted to check on me one last time. Thanks Sandi for checking up on me and for keeping me in your thoughts all day. We are all dealing with the same pain and sometimes just a simple phone call is all that's needed. I'm not really sure how my brother Bob is dealing with it all. He is removed from the physical surroundings. They live in Pennsylvania and I think that makes it easier. I am sure he feels his own pain and sadness. Me, I'm just more emotional. Maybe because I'm a girl. Maybe because I lived with her. Who knows. We all deal differently with mom's passing. We all grieve differently and I have learned that.

Friday night Steven had a piece added to his tattoo that is a memorial for Mom. I will post a picture of it once it heals but I will leave you with what it says:

Our Family Chain is broken,

And nothing seems the same: But as God calls us one by one,

The Chain will link again.

~Christine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John's facebook entry for yesterday and some beautiful comments left by friends...Thank you!

John is wishing his mother-in-law a happy birthday in heaven! 10:21am - 3 Comments

Steve...happy bday mom, we love and miss you

Teresa missing mom... Happy birthday mom! we love and miss u! 10:51am -

Catherine M. Safos at 11:20am January 10 via Facebook Mobile
Happy birthday... Bless her soul.

Jerry Beach at 2:09pm January 10
Happy birthday Judy. She was a great woman.

Danielle Giangrande at 3:46pm January 10 via Facebook Mobile
Happy Birthday! R.I.P.