Penguins...

Several weeks ago I was straightening up the basement and came across, what else, several things of Moms. As I was looking thru some boxes I found a small stuffed animal. It was of a Penguin. Till that day I never put two and two together. Mom loved Penguins. She had special Penguin Christmas cards and paper. If you were lucky enough to get one, you know what I am talking about.



Well my nephew Gavin is in LOVE with Penguins. He has a whole family of stuffed animals and little figures. They line his crib. He has names for everyone and knows when one is missing. He sleeps with ALL of them, sometimes them overtaking him, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

When I came across this Penguin I immediately thought of Gavin. So two weeks ago when we went for a visit I brought him the Penguin. Well from what I hear the Penguin goes everywhere with him and he is very protective of him. I am glad that they have a connection. It is like Mom is there with Gavin all the time.


Enjoy your Penguins Gavin, I am sure Nana is so very happy!

What would you do...

What would you do if someone did something so hurtful that you couldn't believe she did?

What would you do if someone took something that they were given and sold it?

What would you do if someone took their Mother's engagement ring and sold it for cash?

What would you do if that Mother had past away and this person was given the ring as a memory to hold onto?

What would you do if the person that did this now makes you sick to your stomach to think about?

What would you do if someone had totally betrayed your trust?

What would you do if someone made you lose total respect for them?

What would you do if this person was your sister????

Emotions...

You never really know what others are thinking if they don't open up and talk. Yesterday while I was cleaning up our basement I came across a picture of Mom and my younger brother Bobby. The picture was already in a frame with the word Mother on it. It was taken years ago but was in perfect condition.

I brought the frame up and put it in his room and here's what I learned about Bobby (from his Girlfriend, Siobhan) that I didn't know...

• He sometimes pulls the car over when driving and starts crying about Mom
• He tells her how much he misses her
• He has a hard time looking at pictures of Mom
• He misses Mom dearly
• He cried when he saw the picture of Mom and him
• He wishes she was still her

And I make the list not to point out his weakness but to realize that everyone has these emotions. It made me feel good to know that I am not alone in this battle. That everyone deals with grief in their own way. That others remember her, not that I doubted that, but wondered.

Mom is missed by so many and it hurts so much.

That little Penny...

That Little Penny In The Parking Lot

Remember this every time you pass that little penny in the parking lot.

I always thought that it was for good luck, but I love this version better.

~~~~~

I found a penny today Laying on the ground.

But it's not just a penny, This little coin I've found.

Found pennies come from heaven, that's what my Grandpa told me.

He said Angels toss them down.

He said when an Angel misses you, They toss a penny down;

Sometimes just to cheer you up, To make a smile out of your frown.

So, don't pass by that penny When you're feeling blue.

It may be a penny from heaven That an Angel's tossed to you.

So now pass this on to people you care about

And who you feel are Angels to you. I just did.

An Angel is now watching over you

16 Months...

16 Months today, how can it be?

How can it be that you have gone away?

Why you left, we will never know.

16 Months today, our lives forever changed.

~~~~~~~~~~

Some days it's just doesn't seem real to me. I go to pick up the phone and call her. I think of something and think Mom would want to know this. But this is real. She isn't here with us on earth. She is watching us from above. I feel guilt on days like today. I got up, went to work and went about my day but 16 months ago my world was flipped upside down. I miss her so very much.

I will leave with this quote that Christopher Robin said to Winnie the pooh...

"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is, even if we're apart....I'll always be with you.

Miss you much Mom ~Christine

So...

Do you think me thinking of her means that she is thinking of me?

I saw her face a lot today. But my visions were not what I want to remember.

I see her laying in her coffin. She did look at peace.

I see her bracelet (that she wore everyday) on her wrist. It was good to see that on her because it was like, yeah, this is Mom.

Friday is 16 months and I can't believe it.

Some days I am sadder than others.

I just really wish she was here.

~Christine

Tooth Ache = Heart Ache

So I feel a tooth ache coming on and who do you call when you have a tooth ache...Mom. But Mom's not here and that equals a tooth ache plus a heart ache...

~Christine :(