A Dream, Stamps, Balloons and Memories...

Wow, Wow Wubbzy (as my Niece Mia would say), it's been a while since a post ...Thanks Sandi for reminding me that it's time.

Lots of things have popped into my head to write about, I just haven't had the time. This post may be all over the place so buckle your seat belt...

Dream: Brought to you by John - So I had another dream with Judy in it. We were living in my parents old house, it was me, my mom & dad and James. We lived in the basement, I was outside talking to my Mom, when we were done we went in and there was Judy. I said to her, I had a dream that you came back, she said I know I was there. Then I said so, is this a dream and she said I don’t know. We both started crying and She hugged me and said it’s ok, I’m ok and I love you guys so much. Then I woke up.

Okay its me, I'm back - sitting at my desk at work, (stealing work time), writing this post, crying and using a paper towel to dry my eyes...next topic...

Stamps: Oh gosh, I don't even know when this was but Mom had asked James to buy her some stamps. He did but then they went a missing. Where to, no one knew until this past Saturday. They turned up to be in a box of envelopes. Well geez, that makes sense since you need them both to successfully mail a letter :) What brought a smile to my face was when they showed up. John had just told me about his dream (see above, Dream post) and I of course had tears in my eyes. Then these stamps just showed up out of no where. There was Mom, comforting me by putting a smile on my face and showing me that she's around and that she found those darn stamps!

Balloons: For most of you reading this you know that Mom has been known to steal a balloon or two, mostly from birthday parties. I guess she's just letting us know that she is there.

I was speaking with Sandi last night and she told me that Mom had struck again. Stealing balloons from unsuspecting victims. We are not taking the cheap kind of balloons either. We are talking the $7.00 plus balloons. If I remember correctly Sandi said that the three of them (Her, Bob & Gavin) were at Sesame Place and up went an Elmo balloon. Sandi said, There goes Nana and Gavin being the sweetest little guy said "Where Mama, I can't see her (Nana). Where is she?"

See that's what sucks out loud. Gavin as well as Mia and Matthew should be able to see their Nana when ever they want, but they can't. It's not fair to them, to any of us. They lost out on knowing such an amazing person, their Nana. I know that their parents will tell them stories of her, show them pictures of her, but it's not the same and that's the part that sucks.

Next week will mark 15 months since their Nana has past. I think that I will bring Nana her own balloon as I visit her grave next week.

A friend from work just lost her Dad on Saturday. When I heard the news and called her I just lost it. All of those memories from that day and the days that followed just flooded back to me. They really never left, they were always there ready to be called up. I feel so bad for her. They are a small family. John and I brought them lunch on Sunday and we sat and listened to stories of her dad. He was such a nice man.

The funeral was yesterday and as she walked down the aisle following her dad's casket I was brought back to the day of Mom's funeral. How all the guys walked beside and carried the casket and how us girls covered it with the white cloth. How we all walked behind the casket as it reached the alter. The smell of the burning incense. I could go on and on. The whole day and how I, we, all felt that day and the days that followed are just so painful.

I am off to celebrate my 11th wedding anniversary (9/6/97) this weekend with my wonderful husband. John has always been there for me but especially over these last 15 months when my mood can go from happy to sad in a spilt second. When I can be smiling one minute and in tears the next. He comforts me and I thank him for that.

Mom loved John (most of the times him more than me) and considered him her Son. So Happy Anniversary to Us. I know that it's been a rough year and a half to deal with me and I thank him for every minute of it.

See I told you this post would be all over the place. You may unbuckle your seat belt. You are free to move about the cabin...

~Christine